Make the Most of Your Time With Loved Ones
“He has shown unconditional love for me by sacrificing his own welfare. I owe him my life.”
It Is Never Okay
“It will be okay,” are the most common words we hear from people we talk to when we are in despair. Understandably, some of them have not yet experienced what we went through—that of losing someone we love.
I often think, at the back of my mind, ”It will never be okay.” Losing someone you love could be the most devastating event in one’s life. More than dying, having a death in the family is everyone’s fear. I never thought it would happen to me until the year 2001, with the most recent in 2019.
A Father’s Love
My father is the kindest, most patient, understanding, helpful, generous, and loving person I know. For me, he is the ideal father everyone would want to have. I am so blessed and lucky to have him as my father. He has shown unconditional love for me by sacrificing his own welfare. I owe him my life, for which I am very grateful.
It was on the morning of March 5, 2001 when I had a mild asthma attack. On our way to my work (where my dad drove me every day), I asked him if we could pass by the drugstore to buy an inhaler. Concerned that I might be late for work, he lovingly handed me his own inhaler and told me not to worry about him, since he could buy one anytime. So I went to work, not knowing that he too was not feeling well.
Little did I know that he did go to the drugstore to buy an inhaler, but collapsed at the counter before he got it. It was too late. His asthma attack was so severe that he had to be rushed to the ER. Due to the lack of oxygen in his brain, he succumbed to a coma and spent seven weeks in the hospital. He woke up after that period, but in a state of stupor.
We brought him home on April 17, 2001 and gave him the best care he needed. It was on April 23, 2001 (two days after my birthday) when the angels brought him to God’s paradise. That was one of the saddest moments in my life. It hurt me so much to lose the person I love most.
Facing the Future
The most painful time was after the cremation when I realized he wasn’t with us anymore. It dawned on me that I will no longer hear his voice, laughter, words of encouragement, advice, and wisdom. Nor will I see his loving, smiling face—kind eyes gazing at me with fondness. Gone are the days of spending time together. I particularly miss him during special occasions in my life.
But knowing my father, he would want us to go on living. Though it was hard, I had to be strong for my mother and my older sister. I tried to cope by spending more time with my family, especially my mother and extended relatives. I hung out with friends, went on trips, focused more on work, and leaned on my great faith in God.
A Doting Mother
After my father’s death and my older sister’s relocation to another country, I became closer to my mother. Like any other relationship, we couldn’t avoid conflicts and arguments.
Most of the time, however, we enjoyed being together, sharing stories, opinions, insights, and lessons learned. We watched movies and our favorite television series together, frequented the grocery, attended parties with her senior friends, participated in study groups, and dined in our favorite restaurants.
I accompanied her to her doctor’s appointments, joined her in playing with our dogs, and many more mother-and-daughter activities. I was like her sidekick. Some of our friends called us the mother-daughter tandem.
Apart from my father, my mother was the most supportive and loving person ever. She was my teacher, confidante, adviser, and best friend. She was always there for me. She was by my side when I went through the most difficult moments in my life. She lifted me up when I was down and was happy with my successes.
She and my father were two of the deepest, most sensible, and highly spiritual people I know. They were my sources of strength, encouragement, inspiration, wisdom, and support. That is why I felt so lost when they passed on.
The Day I Dreaded Most
It was December 21, 2018 when my mother met an accident. We had just come home from the grocery. As she alighted from the taxi, she slipped and fell into the ongoing construction works of the local water company. She hit her head on the cement and suffered head trauma, which led to a serious brain injury. This in turn affected her vital organs, especially her kidney.
She was hospitalized for eight weeks from December 23, 2018 up to February 14, 2019. She was in and out of the hospital for the next six months. I never left her side. My older sister came home for a few weeks and helped me take really good care of her… until the day I dreaded most arrived.
My mother joined God in His heavenly home on August 16, 2019. It was a very depressing moment in my life. Not only did I lose my mom but also my best friend. There will no longer be a tandem.
Life Has to Go On
I felt so depressed for quite some time after having gone through a lot of trials in my life, in addition to losing my parents. But I felt that, like my father, my mother would want us to continue living.
With the help of my very supportive, understanding, loving, and patient sister, I emerged from this devastating event unscathed. She guided, inspired, and motivated me to go on living. She became my pillar of strength. She introduced me to healing meditation, which I now regularly engage in. I attend spiritual, inspirational, and motivational talks, and watch related videos, as well.
I also surrounded myself with the love and support of my relatives and friends online and offline. I talked about what I went through with people who were willing to listen, focused on self-improvement, and participated in activities that strengthen my relationship with, and faith in God.
I Am So Blessed
I feel so blessed and lucky to have my parents, with whom I spent most of my life. I had an opportunity to show my love, affection, and gratitude to them, as well as take care of them and tell them I love them while they were still alive. Having been at both their bedsides at their hour of death was a privilege.
Only heaven knows when your loved ones will be called by God. So spend most of your time showing your parents love, care, and affection. Be grateful and be good children to them while they are still with you and always say, "I love you" to them before it’s too late. It’s a great feeling to have no regrets later on.
Am I Okay?
I could say that I am now okay. You can always be okay but the experience of losing someone you love is never okay. Somehow, there will always be a void in your life. Until now, I still miss my parents so much and tears still fall every time I think of them. I love both of them very much. I look forward to the day when I will be with them in God’s paradise.
Photo credit: Florencia Potter
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